hey spring

(please start now)


FOR THE LOVE OF HARRY STYLES, & just having celebrity crushes as a teen girl in general

Hello! I like Harry Styles. I think about him a lot and have never really met him. Isn't that funny?
The best part about this post is that you can insert whatever unrequited crush’s name you want, and I think it would still work. Whatever age you might be, whatever gender you may or may not conform to, I believe everyone has had this.
So, on to the "real" stuff~~~~

This boy. I swear, this boy.
He’s such a fun thing to think about. It’s all fun make-believe. He isn’t real, he’s made of soft pink and purple clouds, and flowers and sugar. He smells sweet probably and has soft sweet hair. He is a vision. I love this vision that I’ve made. I think I’ve taken all the love that’s left in my mind and created him from it. He is such a dream. All the pictures of him are sparkling clear, of him smiling or laughing or taking a jaunty pose. I kind of wish I could thank him for making himself so easy to romanticize. His voice is nice and deep and he’s “clever” or “sexy” or “funny” or “intellectual”, name it, that’s what he is. He’s anything I want him to be and I love it. I will never meet him, most probably, unless I get famous, which is doubtful. Even if I did I doubt the real Harry could stand against my beautiful golden dream of a boy. I am thankful for this vision, this magical Harry Styles. I really love this figment of my imagination a lot, and I think about him walking into my work and us singing a Billie Holiday song (because we’re so *classic* in that way) and walking down streets and smiling and he makes me feel like my heart is covered in warm honey (but no the sticky kind, just something warm and sweet and gold). I have a whole plan for this fake boy and I. I get jealous that he’s hanging out with his ex girlfriends because I mix up the fake boy from the real one, which can be problematic. I need to stop looking for my golden vision in his twitter and his instagram. I should just think about it more and maybe sing “Blue Moon” and hope this magic dream comes and makes everything seem sugar-spun, too.

Look, here’s my mister daydream playing the guitar barefoot, at some normal-looking back deck. I was there, probably. It was probably a garden party with his friends and family, all charming with strung-up lights, and I went along, but we ended up in a corner together singing or just looking at each other.
See? Isn’t that fun? Gosh, I could do it all day.
He probably likes books too. He probably likes BeyoncĂ© and isn’t jealous, and he laughs a lot and doesn’t cheat. He probably has sparkly eyes. He probably cares about important things and thinks everyone’s beautiful.

((After spending so much time in dreamland how am I supposed to like real human beings? Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever face reality or just continue living in my head with this golden-hatted, high-bouncing lover I’ve created.))

I ever meet the real human version of this dream boy, this Harry Edward Styles, you bet your ass I’ll hold both of his arms and look into his eyes and call him “darling”. I think people should be congratulated just for existing, even if they are used as a daydream in your head. I will hold his hand and say, “Hello, my darling, it’s so wonderful to meet you” and thank the real person that he is, even if the real person isn’t the person I have in my head, and even if this real person is an asshole and doesn't deserve it. Because of course I would love to do that. (I imagine he is probably impressed and shocked in a good way with my amazing warmth, and I imagine he is probably happy too, and probably thinks I’m too beautiful to even describe. I imagine he is probably.)


girl of my dreams


styling the new shoes, pt. two! tried to veer away from the sporty menswear angle and went in the exact opposite direction. it was a good exercise though, and thank god I did it. I've had snow days for the past two days, and including President's Day that means I've been at school approx. 2 days this week. i finished all my homework (mostly) yesterday so now i'm making good use of my time, aka on my phone all the time and rewatching downton abbey ?? yeah i suck creatively but LOOK I PUT ON CLOTHES THAT AREN'T LEGGINGS AND A T SHIRT GIVE ME A GOLD MEDAL

if these shoes look different from the other post.......,,,,.... that's because my PUPPY ATE THE OTHER ONES which were $16 AND PERFECT. i was upset with him for a while but he's so damn cute, ugh, i love him so much. so of course i sped on amazon and got mahself a new pair that was too expensive.

Shirt, dress and nightgown thing are all thrifted, and the shoes are Nike Air Overpriced whatevers. just google "white nikes tumblr" and you'll find them, by god.

speaking of tumblr, shall I fulfill another stereotype of the White Girl Wearing Lolita Style Clothes? insert giant animal backpack here~~~~~~-------

ahhh, that's better. backpack is from Baby The Stars Shine Bright. it was my 8th grade graduation present i believe. that and the lovely little miu mius on the bookshelf behind me.

look at how creepy that bunny is. i hope to accomplish what she has accomplished in life, i.e. being small and soft and having bright pink eyes and having a slit in the back to carry things. any day now.

also this song by king krule just SLAYS ME evERYime.



Birthday presents are fun. I'm 18 now so i could easily buy a lottery ticket for anyone reading this. 

have i worn this cardigan in the past 3 outfit posts??? yes, yes yes. it goes with everything though, so #noragrets. But the pants are the birthday purchase (topshop on sale) and the shoes are thrifted for $16 (!!!!!). I've always wanted to dress all basic and mensware-ish like every other boring white girl on tumblr and now i finally can~!!!!`!1!!@@@!!! lol but seriously, i am so boring.
shirt is old old forever 21, belt is from i was little, blah blah.

I love these shoes. i love them. i love themilovethem. 

Bonus-- birthday coat!!!! continuing the trend of being boring and predictable and all boyfriend-style-trying-to-be-chic-and-lorde-ish but hey, the coat is nice (also topshop, also on sale). 

The other thing i got was these super fun teva sandals!!!!!! they make me feel like a dad on vacation with his 2.5 blonde children and I love them sooooo much. One can never have enough awkward summer sandals.

that purple tribal print gets me errytime.


i feel grown up with u in ur car

i survived finals... now, some pics for winter! i'm excited to do the whole flowery thing when there are actually flowers growing. but for now, wide open spaces and blue is my current aesthetic!

i went "urban exploring" with my friend elliot on a cloudy day last weekend. in small cities the only thing to do is explore abandoned buildings and cemeteries, i suppose. it was so stereotypical *teen of our generation*, but hey. my girl lorde gets me.


notting hill was a shitty movie but i watched it anyways: my week in review

i am on a ROLL when it comes to blogging!!!!! 2 times in less than a week???????? WHAT DA fuuUUUUuuuqqq (but seriously i will probs just forget about it in another week and come back around summertime)

today is my second snow day in a row! i would be happy about it but finals is in exactly a week and i am stressing because usually if we have school we can go over stuff and study and now we can't do that and i have no motivation are you kidding me and and and

speaking of no motivation, i've decided maybe if i try to do some things i like (i.e. this blog, and also reading more) they will give me motivation to do other things, such as STUDYING. this blog post is a result of that idea. congrats me you're off to a good start

anyways, my "outfit" today (because I'm not actually wearing it because i can't go outside because its -13 degrees) is mostly stuff i got for christmas. the skirt is from macy's (the label says "porridge"? idk) and the bralette is from free people (i got all sorts of colors) and the socks are smartwool, i believe! cardigan is madewell, clogs are thrifted, and purse is fossil! phew. now more photos of me standing around.

today's a weird face day so i just closed my eyes.

& i figured out this skirt has pockets halfway through taking these pictures...

a testament to my current mood. (called, scientifically, Slumped Af. or Unmotivated As Fuck.)

and finally, a testament to the cold that is happening. it is cold. i am cold.


a way to always belong, belong, belong, won't be long until i am gone

hello internet! it has been approx. 2 months since i last payed attention to the blob. i feel bad but it seems that every post is starting with an apology note, so let's not go any further-- you know the drill. not much has changed. i got a puppy. i am tired. notice my non-capitalization and how relaxed and chill and cool i obviously am. this is not true. i ended christmas break today, and because of some dumbass reason, we have finals AFTER break. so i am the quiet before the storm kids, on the brink of panic !!!!!! but its cool, i got some pretty clothes for xmas that i should just get to already.

my friend Karina (she gets capitalized out of gratitude) got me a cool pants/shirt thing that is vintage and so i dressed up as a 60's-70's housewife today instead of studying!

looks pretty sweet, eh? i would say where everything is from but its pretty much all vintage and unattainable. heheheh.

also new year's eve i looked AMAZING if i may say so myself!!!!! i was going for Rihanna at the CFDAs but obviously didn't look THAT good. (if Rihanna ever sees this blog and/or post, you are amazing and i love you)

gold makeup + headpiece on pointtttt. for a second i thought i looked like i was going to coachella, which is gross, so please note that this was not my intention and i have no plans on wearing bindis to be cool any time soon.

anyways, that's all for now. i might post some more this month since i will be having a lot of snow days ..... also I'm turning 18 this month as well! i could buy a house or win the lottery or get married! speaking of getting married... here's a a moody sleepy mix with an arty pic of harry styles as the cover. can you stand me? probably not.