"I can see me in your eyes" "I can see you in my bed"

I made GIFs of my face.

I have literally nothing to do.

Aghhhhhhh.

UPDATE: Even though I had nothing to do today, I still did some things that aren't very interesting. But I did them anyway. So I will show you.

First I made a painting of that song up there. I like that song. So does Sofia Coppola. Also if you didn't guess all that blue stuff with the pink and purple and teal stuff is supposed to be water? Idk I'm not very good at painting, which is okay. I just kind of do painting to exercise my creativity.

And, as a true example of our generation would do, I took many many selfies. Enjoy.

UPDATE AGAIN: This is the last time, I swear! But I just wanted to talk about those pictures up yonder.

I put some of them on my personal facebook because I liked them. I don't know. I put them up there and I was very proud because I look good and I think they capture me as I want to be seen. I got a kind of snarky comment on them from one of my friends who's like another big brother to me. We're always at each other's throats and criticizing each other. That's normal. But it made me feel really bad. I felt like I was totally trying to hard and I was being this total narcissist. I shamelessly put all these pictures of me on the internet! Wearing makeup! Looking what society would say "pretty"! No, this cannot happen! I am a teenage girl and if I look like I'm trying to be pretty I will automatically be hated by everyone! Who did I think I was, trying to be pretty? I can't believe I even thought I was pretty. I'm not pretty! I am ashamed to even be this egotistical. I am ashamed to want to be pretty and I am ashamed to bend to society's standards and I feel guilty for being such a bad feminist and not rising above it and not giving any shits ETC ETC ETC ETC

Seriously this is what goes through my mind all the fucking time. Not even about my face, but about my weight and body type too. I know when you look at these stick-skinny white girls you're like, "No way. She cannot possibly have any complaints about her body." Yeah, um, I DO. ALL THE TIME. I don't think I'm skinny enough at all, and sometimes I eat stupidly healthy foods (and not because I want to be healthy, oh no, I eat them because I don't want to be "fat") or feel extreme guilt for EATING CHOCOLATE, or any kind of animal product for that matter. I envy my friends who can just eat a whole jar of Nutella and not feel awful about it afterwards. Anyone who doesn't believe me obviously hasn't been an insecure teenager. But you guys probably do believe me because you've done this to yourself. A super good example of an extremely beautiful, privileged, skinny white woman talking about insecurities she and many other models have:



I've been wanting to talk about this for some time but I've been kind of shy, and I didn't want to sound too serious about my guilt with food. I don't have an eating disorder or anything, I promise. And I think the saddest part about this all is I am 16 and upper middle class and a feminist (I HAVE A ZINE THAT PROMOTES BODY ACCEPTANCE FOR GOD'S SAKE), and even though I have all the materials and positive messages at my fingertips, I still do not feel decent about myself very often at all. And whenever I do feel good about myself, then I feel like a stupid narcissist and I do that whole spiral you saw up there.

Anyway, that's my rant and I hope you enjoyed my brutal honesty.